Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sign Off.

Dear Brit #3,

It's true - you stole my heart for about 5 weeks. My heart is absolutely amazing, and you haven't earned it yet. So, I'm taking it back. I'm the ubber-bomb when it comes to women, and you will never find anyone as amazing as me. But go back to your life and figure it out. Once you figure out that I'm perfect, you can come get me, and maybe I'll still be around.

Until then, if you ever speak about my kids again, I will break you in half. Actually, if you ever use another woman's kids to get to her, I will break you for that too. That was the most not fair of all the lines dished out. Seriously, kids are off limits, unless you are for real, which you weren't. Also, if you ever mention the fact that I had a crush on you, I will have a paper burning ritual with your name on it to curse you for all lifetime.

Now ... back to my own life.

Dear Mr Man with the Girly Name,

Yes, you can ask me out. You're cute, and it was fun to flirt with you. Thanks for the pick-me-up on Friday.

And ...

Dear MrIcan'tPlan,

Yes, we can go out next Saturday. Sorry for ditching you this past weekend for the Brit even though you didn't know it was for the Brit. Yes, I will text message you.

And ...

Dear Brit #2,

Yes, I'll be your neighbor soon, and I'm excited too. Tell me where are good places to live with the kids so I know where to look next time I'm over. Yes, you can be my tour guide and help me find somewhere to live.


sue-donym said...

Are you moving out of the country?

La Yen said...

How on earth do you keep track?

i i eee said...

Officially moving to the UK?

Um, Brit #3 is now crowned bag of douche concerning the kids thing. If he comes crawling back, I don't think he's deserving of a second chance.

Tiffany UnTwisted said...

sue: official is all a state of mind. working out the details of a contract can always lead to something not final :)

LY: i have to nickname them all or i would call them the wrong name. it's like having mutliple children.

ie: see sue's response. and if he does crawl back, he does deserve a chance because it means it was real and i was a little harsh, which i probably was, but deserved nonetheless ;)

dalene said...

I'm so far behind--I thought we were still on Brit #2. And moving to the U.K., really? Where? My kid is over there, you know.