Friday, February 6, 2009

The Art of Being Girly, Part 37b

  1. It is Friday.
  2. I am wearing a dress, a bright red dress to celebrate National Women's Heart Disease Day or something like that someone told me about. PLEASE NOTE: I am wearing a dress on Friday.
  3. I shaved my legs this morning. PLEASE NOTE: in the winter time, when I have no significant other/partner/boyfriend/oranythingelse to actually make it matter whether or not I shaved my legs.
  4. I worked out 3 times this week. PLEASE NOTE: At 6:30am. my eyes don't typically open until at least 7:45am.
  5. I ate a grilled chicken wrap at McDonald's last night in lieu of the cheeseburger and fries that _might_ have somehow sounded good to me at that moment in time. PLEASE NOTE: Do not leave nasty comments about how sometimes I actually like the McDonald's Double Cheeseburger with no onions.
  6. I have had water all week. PLEASE NOTE: I have desperately wanted at least 7 Cokes this week, but have resisted completely.
TRANSLATION OF ALL THESE POINTS: I am slowly reaching diva status. If you aren't careful, I may just radiate utter girlishness by the end of the year.

But WAIT! Before you get all impressed, I'm faltering. You all know about the crazy, last-minute Brazilian that I thought would launch me into perfect G.L.A.M.O.R.OUS status. And yes, for about 3 weeks I was in complete zen with my girlness. I was the ultimate girl. I was sassy; I was confident; I got a crush (damn him -- crushes steal some of the ultimate girl away).

Now, it's time to reevaluate my ultimate girl status. I can continue with it and finally have a New Year's Resolution to be proud of OR (this part may sound nuts) I'm at the point where I have to decide to give it up. The decision factor lays solely in to Brazilian or to not Brazilian. Actually, to Brazilian or to get lasered might be a better approach. Ultimate girl status can only be achieved by this decision.

Maybe I should start looking at this as a new adventure in pain tolerance therapy. Maybe if I do this, I might actually be able to go through natural child labor?? Hmm, yeah no, I take that back.

Maybe I just need to start researching laser centers. I don't think I could handle Round 2.


La Yen said...

I vote against. Because it is too permanent.

La Yen said...

And I totally get the McDonald's.

Tiffany UnTwisted said...

Permanent is all relative. Lasering only lasts for about 3-4 years and then you have to do it again.

La Yen said...

WHAT? That is ridiculous. If I am going to pay someone to zap my hoo, I want it ZAPPED. What a racket. Get Gephardt on it.

b. said...

I'd be pissed if my hoo-hair came back too after being ripped off or zapped off.

Double cheeseburger with ketchup and onions only.