I heart New York.

I used to love New York ... one of my favorite places. The more I come, the more I realize the city has lost a little bit of its charm for me, and it won't ever be THE place I want to live anymore. Sad. Although it kind of shows me that the things I want in life have changed. Don't get me wrong -- I'll always heart New York, and I'll always remember the fun times I've had, but I don't really want to go back.

Unfortunately, it feels like limbo. I feel like I'm in limbo. If this happens, then this. If this happens then this.

I hate "ifs". I've never lived by ifs before, and now it feels like that's all I have. Hmm, changes need to happen. What can change to make the "ifs" go away?? Nothing! It's all about time. So, until the "ifs" become yeses or nos, I will keep you entertained with these tidbits:

Scoop 1: An illustrious Brit is coming to visit me in January. Not the one you might think it would be, but another. Which seems to indicate I have a random fondness for the motherland, or just an insane desire to always have utterly doomed long distance relationships. You decide. All I know is that I MIGHT have a date in January.

Scoop 2: Another illustrious Brit (yes, this is the one you might think it is) has also said he is thinking of coming over in January or February. No, I am not delusional. He may or may not come. In all likeliness, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't, but I would probably be shocked if he did :)

Scoop 3: I tried online dating. Embarrassing to admit. Sad experience. I was trying to be honest and gave myself a 7 for looks so that I could be paired with other cute, but not necessarily hot guys. All I need to say is that people on the Internet apparently don't have a mirror or a grip on reality. I think I'm a 7 out of 10 (and I thought that was generous), but if the matches I got were any indication, I am probably more like a 9 or 10 from the "Internet" rating game. If you are wisping your one strand of hair all around, have three gaps in your front teeth, and wear I love hunting camouflage shirts, I am not so sure that we are compatible. I take baths.

Scoop 4: I was rejected for Speed Dating. I'm too old. I feel ostracized. I just might be young looking enough to pass, but should I? I told my friend Anna that I would go Speed Dating with her. You have to sign up online before you go. I went to sign up, and it's only for people up to 30 years of age!!!! Seriously???!!?? She is 29. Sad. I am even ex-ed from Speed Dating. She is very shy and now will not go by herself, so I said I'd lie about my age because I'm pretty sure I won't get a date from that either. Is that wrong?

Those are the tidbits for the hour. Come back as I prepare more.